How to properly convey the weight of the past two days...
I simply cannot.
We have battled sickness. We have battled weariness. We have battled demons.
And just when I think it's getting to be too much and I want to give up, I remember that the apostles did this for years. There are missionaries all over the world who do it daily, still.
To be welcomed into homes, to be asked to pray over children, to hold the hands of people who are pouring out their greatest needs and burdens...
Why is the Lord so kind to us? He invites us, calls us, makes a way for us to minister...not because we are anything special. But because HE IS SO VERY GOOD.
It will humble me until the day I die that these people trust us with their deepest needs.
I pray every day to be able to bear their he honorably.
One of the grandmothers of the church here, an intercessor, shared her many burdens with me on Saturday, and tears streaked down her face as I asked the Lord to move on her behalf. She whispered "amen" over and over, and her wrinkled, weathered hands gripped mine with strength that evidenced her hold upon the Lord. I wept with her, feeling her faith as she reached out for Him.
Then yesterday at church the same woman, so dear to me, came up and asked me to write down MY burdens, so she could pray for me. And I know, I KNOW, that the things in my heart, so trivial compared to the words she confessed to me, will be faithful laid before the Lord. My hand trembled and my ears flooded as I wrote.
The fellowship of suffering is tender and beautiful.
As we approach the final days here, I'm feeling urgent not to miss any appointments. When will I be back? WILL I be back? I must spend every moment as if it will be my last chance to walk this ground, hold these hands, pray and laugh and cry with these beloved souls.
The Lord will bind us and hold us together in spirit. But oh...how my heart will long for physical reunion when I say goodbye.
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