Thursday, May 15, 2025

KZ #5 2025


 The trip has come to an end. We stayed up all night, drove a caravan to the airport, went through the chaos of checking luggage...and then we said goodbye.

Every time it feels like if may be the last time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. We hug our brothers and sisters as if we will never see them again. 

I cried, straining for glimpses of their beloved faces, for as long as I could.

I wonder if we had any impact, if we helped, encouraged, or strengthened the believers of KZ.

I know for certain that they impacted, encouraged, and strengthened me.

"I don't want to say goodbye to you," one dear friend said.

I felt it too. I feel it still.

We've traveled for over 20 hours, and now we are almost home. We are exhausted, but we have all flushed the toilet paper again, and texted our family with arrival times. We're ready to be home.

What a miracle that the Lord allows us to partner with Him in His work.

I see Him. I long to see Him more.


Sunday, May 11, 2025

KZ #4 - 2025

 


How to properly convey the weight of the past two days...

I simply cannot. 

We have battled sickness. We have battled weariness. We have battled demons.

And just when I think it's getting to be too much and I want to give up, I remember that the apostles did this for years. There are missionaries all over the world who do it daily, still.

To be welcomed into homes, to be asked to pray over children, to hold the hands of people who are pouring out their greatest needs and burdens...

Why is the Lord so kind to us? He invites us, calls us, makes a way for us to minister...not because we are anything special. But because HE IS SO VERY GOOD. 

It will humble me until the day I die that these people trust us with their deepest needs.

I pray every day to be able to bear their he honorably. 

One of the grandmothers of the church here, an intercessor, shared her many burdens with me on Saturday, and tears streaked down her face as I asked the Lord to move on her behalf. She whispered "amen" over and over, and her wrinkled, weathered hands gripped mine with strength that evidenced her hold upon the Lord. I wept with her, feeling her faith as she reached out for Him. 

Then yesterday at church the same woman, so dear to me, came up and asked me to write down MY burdens, so she could pray for me. And I know, I KNOW, that the things in my heart, so trivial compared to the words she confessed to me, will be faithful laid before the Lord. My hand trembled and my ears flooded as I wrote. 

The fellowship of suffering is tender and beautiful. 

As we approach the final days here, I'm feeling urgent not to miss any appointments. When will I be back? WILL I be back? I must spend every moment as if it will be my last chance to walk this ground, hold these hands, pray and laugh and cry with these beloved souls. 

The Lord will bind us and hold us together in spirit. But oh...how my heart will long for physical reunion when I say goodbye.

Friday, May 9, 2025

KZ #3, 2025


 

Our first big chunk of ministry appointments are done. We finished the seminar and the counseling sessions. It was a time of sweet fellowship, and also intense spiritual warfare.

There has been so much HARD in the lives of most of the people here. The believers are predominately first generation, so they have had to unlearn and relearn how to live their lives and operate their homes. There is still much learning and unlearning to be done. (Isn't that the truth everywhere, though?)

I feel unqualified for the task of ministering to them. Mostly I just cry with them as they share, and I take their hands and tell them I'm sorry. And it's shocking how that can be enough sometimes. Sitting with someone, holding space for them to speak of their pain, is a powerful thing.

And then I put my hands on my Bible. And I remind them that the Word breathes, and speaks, and heals, and convicts, and instructs. 

I have to pause often, because the sweet girl translating needs time to hear my southern-drawl English, translate it in her mind into either Kazak or Russian, and then repeat it in that language to the heartsore, weary, wit's end believers who have come seeking advice and prayer. 

What a heavy honor, to bear the weight of others to the throne of the Father. 

It was exhausting. It was a treasure.

Tonight is home church (small group, basically)

Pray for us. We are tired and footsore. But our spirits are still willing.

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

KZ #2, 2025


 Happy Wednesday from the other side of the world. 

Today is "Boys' Day" in KZ. School is out. Little boys are kicking soccer balls in the park across the street. It's breezy and sunny. A perfect morning.

We were without water in the village apartment for a good part of yesterday. So the inconveniences of missions seemed a little amplified. But honestly, all things considered, we have it very easy here. We have at least moderate AC, electricity, and wifi. We have a toilet, a bed, vehicles to carry us places...and we are fed daily by the wonderful women at the church. 

I cannot express to you what an honor it is to sit down at a table they have meticulously set, and partake of food they have been slaving over for the better part of the day. They are proud to serve us, and they carefully watch our faces for signs of our enjoyment. They grin happily, filled with excitement, when we ask for more. If such simple things as smiling and eating all that is in front of me can bless the hearts of these most beloved women...that's not even a sacrifice. That's a privilege. 

I'm always amazed by how willing the believers here are to share their struggles. In America, we will say "fine" when asked how we are, and it will take a lot to get us to open up and share honestly about the real things in our hearts. 

Not here. Here, no conversation ends without one of them saying "this is what I need prayer for." I'm convicted by their transparency. I long to be more like that in my own life.

Today we begin prayer meetings during the afternoons, and also have the second night of the parenting seminar they asked us to conduct. 

Pray for us, that the Lord will use us, spoiled and self-absorbed Americans, to be a blessing. 

After all, His Word tells us that He has blessed us SO THAT we can be a blessing. And I want to be a blessing the way HE asks me to, not just the way I feel most comfortable.

Sunday, May 4, 2025

KZ, 2025

It has been 8 years since I set foot on this beloved soil. 

I was younger and spunkier in 2017, obviously. The trip was long, very long, even back then. And now that I'm older, it felt longer still. 

But we made it. Wrinkled and exhausted, we arrived in Almaty in the wee hours of the morning. 

And we were greeted by no less than 10 of our church family here.

At 2:30 am, 10 people got into vehicles and drove to the airport to be there to welcome us. 

It's hard to explain what a blessing the Kazakh people are in this way. 

They are giving and hospitable and kind and willing to sacrifice their time and energy and lives...to make us feel welcome. 

They cook for us, they interpret for us, they drive us and direct us and, through it all, they act as if we are the ones blessing them.

I feel inadequate to the task most days. The faces that smile at me are ingrained upon my heart, but I don't feel I have anything to encourage them with in return.

Several women at church today came up and hugged me fiercely, and remembered me, by name, from the last time I was here. I cannot comprehend this kindness. I am humbled by it.

Maybe, once we begin our ministry activities, I will feel more useful. For now, I am soaking in the joy of seeing people again whom I haven't hugged in many years, and feeling no small amount of gladness that our hearts are still knit together. 


 


KZ #5 2025

 The trip has come to an end. We stayed up all night, drove a caravan to the airport, went through the chaos of checking luggage...and then ...