Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Good, the Grumpy, and the God of it all

I haven't blogged much since the start of the new year.


Because I'm grumpy.

Because the level of grumpy I'm experiencing rivals that of the dwarf who bears the name.

Because all the things I can think of to blog about will either a) get me in big trouble with my husband b) get me a phone call and/or house visit from Social Services c) get me a horrified/disappointed look from one or both of my parents or d) all of the above.

It has NOT been a happy new year thus far in the Martin household.

It's mostly my fault, obviously, because grouchiness breeds grouchiness and BOY have I been grouchy. The kids are struggling getting back into their school routine, and I am struggling getting my head on straight and gearing up for another semester of teaching them. Every day is a bit of a battle, and inevitably someone ends up in tears. More than once that someone has been me.

Plus I'm constantly sore because my New Year's resolution workout is kicking my butt...
And there is a weird smell in my kitchen which I cannot find the cause of...
And the overhead light in my bathroom randomly stopped working. (no, its not a bulb issue, I checked)


Insert my Uncle Paul's voice and face here(with eyebrows raised and no-nonsense look on his face) "Suck it up and go, kid."

I do not have a hard life. I have a BUSY, FULL, sometimes CRAZY life. But not a hard life. And despite my best intentions and all my rememberings of January 2nd...I have forgotten, or, more accurately, re-forgotten, to focus on the good.

And there is so much good.

I have a mom who will make a trip to the library for me, to check out school books for my kids when I can't, and then bring them to my house and sit down to discuss them with me.

I have a dad who doesn't mind that I still call him "Daddy," or that it earns both of us some pretty serious ribbing from the people in our lives.

I have siblings who know the ugliest things about me and still choose to be on my side, who understand all the crazy things I do and would pretend to understand even if they didn't.

I have friends...lots of friends...who love me, who laugh in all the right places, who don't judge my grouchiness, even when they are the recipients of it, who stand beside me, and stand up for me, and stand in the gap for me, and stand in front of me to block me from stupidity...

I have kids who make me crazy, who make my house a disaster, who make my hair turn gray, who make me laugh and cry, who nearly burst my heart with their hugs and kisses, who nearly make me lose my voice intervening in their arguments, who fill my life to the fullness of all insanity and joy.

I have a husband who forgives me when I spend money despite the mandatory spending freeze he orders, who doesn't wrinkle up his nose if supper is barely edible, who tells me I'm beautiful even when I have a bandaid on my face, who still goes with me to the movie theatre despite his knowledge that I will embarrass him there, and who calms me down just with the sound of his voice or the touch of his hand on my hair.

I have a good life.

And sometimes I need to list out the good in order to remember it. This is that kind of day for me.

The God who remembers all, who holds my every moment and breath and worry and failure and pain, He also reminds me of all, and HE is the ultimate GOOD in my life.

And even if He was the ONLY life would still be good.

Thank you, Lord, for the good things. Thank you for the hard things. Thank you for everything...everything that comes from Your hand. May all my moments make me more like you, so that I can further Your Kingdom, for Your glory, until the whole world hears.


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