Monday, December 31, 2012

The New Year's Eve Blues


I've had this song in my head for weeks now, and usually that means God is trying to speak to me through the words. The chorus starts out “You make all things new…” I've been turning those words over and over. They are spoken to God, a declaration about what He has done and can do.

And it seems especially fitting that today is New Year’s Eve…

Tomorrow we will make our resolutions. We will set our minds toward those things we are determined to accomplish, or overcome, or learn, or change.

It’s a new year. It’s a clean slate. It’s a reset button.

You know what I think about that? BA HUMBUG!!! (yes, I realize this particular grouchy phrase is reserved for Christmas, but the only other thing I could think of is not appropriate and can’t be repeated, so don’t judge my ba humbug-ing…it’s in your best interest.)

Why am I so grouchy, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

NOTHING IS NEW, or fresh, or started over, or clean. My house won’t be new tomorrow. In fact it will be older than it is today, and dirtier, and smellier…not to mention the state of its occupants!
I won’t stay up until midnight to see the ball drop. I like to go to bed early. And even if I might have made an exception some other year…I woke up before 5 a.m. this morning, so there is absolutely no way I will be staying up ‘til even 10 o’clock tonight. (this also could be contributing to my substantially worse than acceptable thoughts on the New Year subject…)

Plus, most New Year’s resolutions end up failing, and I’m not sure if you know this about me or not…I HATE TO FAIL!!!!! (in fact, I have an entire blog post about that very subject!) So there is no way I’m making any New Year’s resolutions. They are just a giant set up for a giant face plant…

If your favorite holiday happens to be New Years, and if you are one of those people who always makes resolutions, and always sticks to them, and always feels like everything is bright and cheery and new on the first day of the year…well, BA HUMBUG to you too.

I may be feeling slightly grouchier than normal today. Or maybe the lack of sleep has short circuited my filter. Or maybe I’m feeling a sudden burst of happiness that anything I say today will be wiped out by the reset that happens tomorrow. EXCEPT THAT’S STUPID!

Tomorrow is just another day, people. It’s a new year, sure, but it’s not a do over on ANYTHING. Some people get the day off of work, including my husband, but they will have to go back the next day. (I won’t get the day off work, though, because butts still have to be wiped, and mouths fed, and underwear and dishes washed, even with the grand reset…clearly no one told the kids that my New Year’s resolution is that they all stop dirtying clothes and toilets…)

As I sit and ponder, in all my crankiness,  the state of the upcoming New Year, I am drawn once again to that one song line that has been singing through my head for quite a while.

“YOU MAKE ALL THINGS NEW.”

How can this be true? What does it mean? What is new?

Not my body- it still bears the obvious aging of a woman who has born 4 children and gotten too many sunburns and fallen down too many flights of stairs.

Not my mind- I can’t finish my sentences with the right words half the time. Seriously, sometimes a thought that begins with “Tonight for supper I think I will make…” ends with the word “car” or “toilet paper” or “sock.” You think I’m exaggerating…sigh…if only.

Not my house- the laundry will pile even higher, the scum on the toilets will get a little thicker, the dirt on the kitchen floor will begin to wonder if it can grow things.

SO what will be new tomorrow, besides the date we write on our checks?

I guess that depends on your (and my) definition of new. My kids will be able to sleep in their old bed, on their old sheets, and wake breathing in old air…and breathing out a new breath. They will get out of bed, and use the same lines they used this morning. “Mommy, I’m hungry.” “Mommy, can I play DS?” “Mom, can they please leave me alone? I never get time alone.” And I will use all my old lines too. “I’m Mommy. It’s nice to meet you, Hungry.” “No, you can’t play DS before you've even eaten breakfast.” “You don’t need time alone. You slept all night in your bed ALONE.”

But then one of them will do something crazy- and no, that’s not speculation. Have you met my kids? Yesterday Nate walked down the hall naked to ask me what to wear for the day. He had a blanket in front of him, his back pressed to the wall, and was sliding sideways toward where I was. Clay saw him and yelled, “MOM!!! Nate’s naked butt is touching the wall!! Do you want me to wash it?” And I managed to reply with a straight face "The wall or Nate's butt?" His wide eyed look of horror, and the giggling from both Nate and I...those were new. And today when Gabe had a dirty diaper and I started making up a song that went “Stinky Booooty…” as I carried him down the hall (do not judge me, I’m operating on very little sleep and a very great dose of Ebeneezer)  and suddenly he started singing “Stinky Boooooty…POWER!” in the same key…yep, that one’s brand new, and we may record it later, and I only wish I could bottle the hysterical laughter he and I indulged in.

So, after this very long tirade that could possibly have spiritual significance if I wasn't too tired and too grumpy to search for it more…I will just say this. There is OLD everywhere. It’s very easy to see. You have to look much harder for the things that are new, and fresh, and clean. And those things are usually much more fragile than the old things, and they are fleeting, and they are precious. LOOK for the REAL new things. Look for them every day, not just tomorrow. Kiss someone you love and realize that is the first and last time you will ever share that exact kiss. Look up to heaven, breathe in, and then out, and thank the MAKER OF ALL NEW THINGS- who also happens to be the only One who has been here from before the world began- for the new breath you have just been given.

Hopefully I have not been too grouchy…actually, I don’t care if I have. Tomorrow is apparently a reset, and you will all forget everything I have just said/typed/written, and we will begin anew. I will post things filled with much more Jesus than craziness, I will work out every day, I will teach school with a smile on my face, and my house will magically start out clean.

 And on that note, there is a large bag of Twizzlers and several cans of Coca-Cola that I can enjoy today because calories reset tomorrow too… Happy New Year!!! (I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.)

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